babies were throwing up all over the place
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
