After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
