Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
