Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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