So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
