I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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