so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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