ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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