You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
