She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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