hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
