this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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