If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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