Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm really busy with my period
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
