i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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