My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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