is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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