I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
