Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you never un-have a 4some
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
