i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize