Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize