i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize