If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
