she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
