The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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