Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
