Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
