remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Porn is love you can see.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
