you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize