HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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