I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize