overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
