and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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