Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize