sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
