Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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