if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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