Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
