if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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