Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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