its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Send help, water and tortillas.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
