So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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