White coat. Heels.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
