Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
