The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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