from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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