Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
