My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
