a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
