theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize