i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
