Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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