Kiss
Puke
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize