Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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