Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
