I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
