My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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