Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
