Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
