Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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