didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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