This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
